Wisdom from Momma 2

Another Momma graciously answered my questions.  Below are her thoughts and they have again, encouraged me to love my husband and kids more.  Thank you Momma Friend 2!

1-What traits or verses have you prayed that God would instill in your kids?

   On a practical note, I would say selflessness.  Colossians 3:23 stayed on our refrigerator for a very long time.  I wanted them to understand that no matter what they do, do it as if they were doing it for Christ alone.
   Whether it be cleaning their room, doing their schoolwork, or playing, they could make a difference in our home and in others lives by doing it with a pure/right heart.

   On a bigger scale, I would say love the Lord with all your being.  Matthew 22:37 and Mark 12:30 say it best.

2-What is one lesson you are glad you trained your children in at an early age?

   Take everything to God...fears, anxieties, joy, questions.  Journaling is another great tool when they are old enough to do that.  Trust me, my kids are much better at this than I am these days.

3-How do you balance time between your husband/kids and your own need of personal quiet time?

   It's varied over the years, but I guess I would say making time for the Lord before the activities get going in the morning has been most beneficial for a personal quiet time.  And I really feel as if God adds time to my
   day when I do.  It doesn't make sense, but that''s how it seems to work.

   Kiddos...homeschooling has allowed lots of time with the girls, but I wish we would've made more of an effort to spend one-on-one time with each of them on a regular basis.  We did mommy/daughter,
   daddy/daughter dates sporadically but I think they would've appreciated it being more often.

   Hubby...we truly have to be very purposeful about date nights.  Especially when they were little.  Dr. Dobson once said "The most valuable gift parents can give their children is to love each other."  Sometimes our
   dates were simply snuggling on the couch to watch a movie, but even those could be blown off depending on the day we had.  My husband admitted to me years later that he felt as if he had taken a back seat when the
   children came into the picture.  He didn't resent it, he thought that's just how it was.  I needed to realize that when I started investing in our children that didn't mean hubby got put "on hold" until they were
   grown.

4-Is there something you wish you would have done more of with your kids?

   Play...and maybe worked through a book or two on character traits.

5-Any book make an impact on your family life?

   Besides the obvious (God's Word), I would say books by James Dobson played a big role.  I listened to him on the radio as well as often as I could.  Very encouraging to me as a young mom.

6-How have you dealt with fear/anxiety and the what ifs of life?

   Probably just remembering that God is already there in my future and that everything has to go through Him before it gets to me.  And that nobody loves me more than Him.

7-What is one trait you would like your children to remember about your family life?

   Unconditional love and that home is a safe place for them to talk about anything.  (sorry...that was two things)

8-Is there one place or experience you and your husband are thankful you took your children to visit or experience?

   We really debated about doing it, but we took a 2 week road trip when they were about 10-8-6.  We visited Ohio Amish, friends in NY, Niagra Falls, Ben and Jerry's in Vermont, and back down into NYC, then to DC.
   Honestly, we thought we had probably lost our minds even thinking of asking them to ride that much.  They still talk about that trip to this day.  Camping was also another favorite of theirs.

9-If there was one thing or one word you could encourage me when raising young kids, what would it be?

   Live a life worthy of your calling to the best of your ability, ask your kid's for forgiveness when you fall short, show yourself some grace (what a gift God gave us in that!), and leave the outcome to God.  I read
   once (Search for Significance) that if we did everything right in parenting and produced perfect kids then they would never have a need for a Savior.  For some reason, that was so comforting to me.

10-As your kids have gotten older what are one or two things I could be thinking about to instill in them personal devotions-to make their faith their own and not to live on the faith of their parents?

   Wow, still learning that one myself.  I guess maybe to allow them to pray and make decisions for themselves (age appropriate decisions, of course) and to encourage godly counsel not just from us, but from   others that God allows to be a part of their lives.

Wisdom from Momma 1.

I have been on the search for wisdom. Wisdom as it relates to parenting, to growing older well and being a quiet and gentle wife/woman.

In my praying I decided to ask some other (older) moms ~10 questions if they were willing.  Here is one friends response to my questions.  This mom has three kids in Junior High/High school.

I hope they encourage you as they have me!

1- What traits or verses have you prayed that God would instill in your kids? 
There are so many. Hard to say just a few but as they get older I think my focus is on their love for the Lord. It's so easy as children to trust and believe. It's easy for my teenagers too but to really live it gets hard! I also pray for hearts that not only love him but want to serve him, are generous to others and see others the way Christ sees them. That's tough for me too.

2-What is one lesson you are glad you trained your children in at an early age?
Hmmm...learn to laugh at yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laughter is great. Keep your home full of laughter. Laugh with each other every chance you get.

3-How do you balance time between your husband/kids and your own need of personal quiet time?
tough one. I think as a mom you sacrifice your own needs much of the time. I don't mean your quiet time with the Lord, but perhaps you don't get to do everything you want to do. I put my husband and kids before my own wants. Time is so short with them. Your time will come to have lunches or get your nails done. I tried really hard to work around my kids schedules so I could be available for them and to be with them. I tried to keep a date night each week when possible with my husband. Now it is a date lunch bc the girls schedules are tighter in the afternoon/evenings. But let your kids know that your time with their father is very important to you and your family.

I honestly didn't do much when my girls were young. They were my ministry as was A and supporting him and our household. You can certainly serve in other areas but I tried very hard to keep my family first always-that meant saying no to some good things. My brother told me one time to remember that there will be time to do other things later- not to try to do everything I was asked to do!

4-Is there something you wish you would have done more of with your kids? 
perhaps more service projects with them...but it's hard with little ones. We have been on several family mission trips and that has been wonderful. Might have started that earlier! But I have no regrets as far as time with them. That is so important!

5-Any book make an impact on your family life?

Anything from James Dobson!
Dobson-The New Dare to Discipline
John Rosemond-love his books- New Parent Power!
Honey for a Child's Heart-by Hunt gives you great books to read together or as they get older-good resource
Faith Training-Joe White(anything he writes!)
You Can Raise a Well-Mannered Child-Moore
Let's Make a Memory-Gaither and Dobson-great creative ideas for holidays etc to make them special. Love this one!
Heritage Builders put out a set of Family NIght tool Chest books which are great for family nights centered around Biblical teachings! We had fun with family nights!
Shepherding a CHild's heart by Tedd Tripp-one of my favorites! A must read.

On down the road!!!-
Preparing for Adolescence by Dobson
Parenting today's adolescent by Rainey
           both of those are great
Passport to Purity when the time comes is a great resource by Family Life


Sarah Knott's parenting class-can get CD's from CBC if you don't already have them.

6-How have you dealt with fear/anxiety and the what ifs of life?
Give it to the Lord! I honestly don't have those thoughts often. I go back to the fact that the girls belong to Him. He is sovereign over all things...all things. Even my mistakes.

7-What is one trait you would like your children to remember about your family life?
I will ask them that but would hope for laughter and fun times together! Hope they see our hearts for the Lord and generosity.

8-Is there one place or experience you and your husband are thankful you took your children to visit or experience?
Definitely mission trips to S. America to see children who have nothing but are so happy! Also this may not be what you are asking but my kids love the memories they have of our family vacations. We have started going to the same place the last few years which has been really special. I wish we had made the tradition sooner. Even if it the same beach house that you rent each year- such memories- the good with the bad but still fun memories.  

9-If there was one thing or one word you could encourage me when raising young kids, what would it be?
Enjoy it! Oh my it passes so quickly. T is off to college in 7 months:( I passed a mom strolling her kids the other day and just about cried. What wonderful days of play dates and swinging on the swings! As you fold all that laundry, thank God that you have children. Love on them as much as you can.

10-As your kids have gotten older what are one or two things I could be thinking about to instill in them personal devotions-to make their faith their own and not to live on the faith of their parents?
Don't beat yourself up. Be diligent with devotions as they grow but remember some will be great and some won't. There will be days when no one listens and you think it is a waste of time. It is always worth it. Keep a devotional appropriate for their age especially as they grow. Even now I will ask mine in the mornings if they had their quiet time. Just an encouragement and also an openness with them. I let them know( and they see it of course,) that I am not perfect. I mess up, get busy, forget my time with the Lord but don't give up. The Lord is faithful even when we aren't. We still pray with the kids at night. Sometimes all together sometimes separately in their beds. Let them see your heart- not just the hear the words.