I made myself sit down. Oh I have a list of things to do. It seems to never end. The house is never clean enough, or the laundry isn't all folded and put away, or all the emails returned or the letters opened and sorted.
I am glad I finally sat down. I turned to the Psalms. I've been reading the Psalms through-five Psalms at a time and this time I was reminded of a simple truth.
I have to wait upon the Lord. (Psalm 40) I have to choose Hope (Psalm 42). I have to choose Joy in the Lord. (Psalm 43) My faith has to be active.
I used to think that the older I got the easier it would be to walk with Jesus. But that's not true. It is harder to be consistent within the demands of life. It is harder to hear God in the everyday unless I am quiet. It is more difficult to carve out time to be quiet and sit and listen to my own thoughts and to challenge them with truth-turning them back to the author and perfecter of my faith. The one that holds everything together. The one that has numbered my days. I realized that I have been trying to do things in my strength. I've been trying to have joy mustered up by my willpower. I have sought to love my kids by digging down deep and being patient.
But the scriptures tell me to wait patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord. (Psalm 40:1-3)
So as I finished up my reading I was thankful for these moments to realize it is not about me, or my power, or my abilities or talents. It is about Him and me pursuing His character. And in these times I will grasp onto His everlasting Hope, His Joy and His peace during His season.
1 comment:
oh you just don't know how bad I needed to read this. thank you so much for your vulnerability and constant source of encouragement, wisdom, and discernment. love you and merry christmas!
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