journaling-fear

Fear, it is crippling. It strangles. It freezes even the best person.
It is an emotion that I am battling so much these days. It captures my heart in an iron clamp and I can't free myself. It is the horrible no good very had thing that says you can't do it. You'll fail. Fear pushes me to turn my eyes inward towards myself...Then my thoughts swirl around and around and I can't get out...(fear that Owen will never sleep right, that Katie will get her heart hurt, that Justin will have tummy issues, that my friends/family won't know I love them, that I'll make a wrong decision...)

A few years ago we studied the gospel of Mark. I want to say that I can remember so much from it, but truthfully I can't. But one over arching theme that is a constant thought running through my head giving me hope, is that the opposite of fear is faith. Faith as small as a mustard seed. Faith like a little child.

So in times like these when fear seeps into my thoughts and emotions, I am reminded that "perfect love casts out fear". And that my faith in the one true God is what I should cling to instead. His love is perfect. His plans cannot be thwarted. I need to have faith in my creator. I want to live full out for God, with joy and faith. Resting in his sovereignty. Yet battling that I, with even a small amount of faith, can change the plans of the Almighty.

Faith is what I need to cling to. Faith the God loves me. Faith that He is a good God. Faith that says He loves me like a father loving his own precious children. Faith that He is here with me and hears me when I talk with Him. Faith that says no matter what I do or don't do, He will still hold me tightly as I walk through this weary land. Faith that says He did forgive me and He took my place in judgment before the King once and for all.

So go away fears and self doubt. I have something far greater to think about. I need not fear, my God is BIG. Larger then I could ever imagine. Fear says there isn't hope. Faith says He is my hope.