Journaling-searching for a cause

*Remember please if you read this entry that I really haven't re read this thoroughly-there are probably lots of errors. :) But I love journaling because it shows another snapshot of our life. A life that is not perfect, but one that is striving to walk this road called life, well. Walking only by God's grace. Only by God's grace.

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I've done it all. At least I think I have. It has been so frustrating. But I've learned to pray a lot more and sought to trust the Lord daily. It has been painful. It has seemed to never end.

But it has! Praise. the. Lord.

For the past year I have been praying and searching for the cause to the soreness in my chest and a cause to my very tiredness. It seemed to have started after Owen stopped nursing (a year ago) and didn't go away. It was a soreness that was in my sternum and in different points around my chest-not always on one side or in one place. I struggled with anxious thoughts and the what ifs a lot. One of the more interesting things was that the soreness/pain/heaviness would come the strongly the week before my cycle and last for about two weeks. Then it was still there for a week or so, but was a minimal pain/soreness until the next month.

I had an EKG done, chest x-ray, yearly female exam, yearly physical, blood work, a few allergy tests...talked with 4 drs., including my aunt out in CA who is an OBGYN and the 'whole body' lady I see in Wake Forest, numerous times. I tried going off of dairy, chocolate, dried fruits, adding vitamin D and a B complex, eating more protein etc...no one, including me could figure out what was going on. I didn't have any other symptoms. I could exercise, still sleep at night, eating fine, no breathing problems, no other pain.

But something wasn't right. I kept asking myself, should I feel sore all the time? Could I have somehow hurt my ribs? Could it be heart related or some sort of cancer? What IS IT? I have had the feelings in the past that it has to be some sort of allergy or sensitivity. *side note-back in college I had a reaction to tea. I realized that my mild soreness then was due to tea. I gave up drinking English Breakfast Tea and everything was back to normal.* So I thought it might be another sensitivity. So again, I gave up chocolate, dried fruit, dairy and a few other things, but they didn't do anything. (well chocolate did a little bit) And then after Justin encouraged me again, I gave up coffee. Everybody knows I LOVE coffee. But I gave it up for one month to see. I needed to see if the soreness in my chest was due to coffee/caffeine. And sadly or gladly I can say I think it is! It has been 7 weeks since I've had coffee and I have felt like a new person! I really can say I am AMAZED at the difference that I feel. The soreness went away in about 1.5 weeks, I have not felt, 'dead on my feet' tired. I have been feeling more creative with the kids and willing to do a few projects without Justin's help. Oh and my memory is not so foggy....SO THANKFUL, SO THANKFUL.

I read a few things about reintroducing allergy type foods after 3-4 months. So I am going to go that route. I did have one glass of decaf and I paid really close attention to how my body responded. It was okay. I did have some soreness and anxiety, but not nearly anything compared to my fears earlier. But if I can't drink coffee often at all...I am willing to give it up to live better!

I am writing this down as a reminder that it is so important to know our bodies. To know what we eat and to know how it effects our day to day function. Really, food matters! Remember that food gives us energy and/or takes energy away. Investigate a little bit at a time. Ask friends who are doing healthy living, why they do what they do. Learn what will bless your family not hinder them! Everything the Lord has made is 'good'. But not everything is best for everyone.

Also I know I have mentioned to a few folks over this past year my struggle. Thank you for praying and listening to me. I covet your prayers and care.

So ladies (and me), take the high calling of 'the heart of her husband trusts in her' seriously. Live under grace, but be mindful of how we fill the bellies of our family.