journaling-today

So this is the start to my journaling. I won't be rereading much of these posts as I want them to be raw, organic-just my thoughts. (Plus I don't have the extra time to reread :) -And that means there is bound to be plenty of mistypings etc. But I needed a way to think out loud and since I am going to print off my blog into books for our family I thought this could be a way for our kids to get a sense of everyday life.

Today...today was a day in which I wanted to get away and find a quiet place, just me. I didn't want Katie to play her pots and pans as drums or play the piano or run around me while nursing, upsetting Owen...I wanted my space. I wanted peace and quiet. I wanted to do things my way.

I thought in my head that if I could just get the kids napping at the same time I could do something for me. If I could just get Owen content in his swing and if Katie would play by herself then I could do my chores. I couldn't be any more selfish today.

But then the Lord, graciously, reminded me that it isn't about me. It isn't about my comfort. He has given me a chance to teach and train little ones! This is my season in life. He has given me patience. He has provided me everything that I need for Godliness. He is my strength. There is nothing that surprises him.

I also remembered that when I stand before Him one day it will be just me and him. I will be responsible for my actions. My thoughts. My character. I can't say my kids were crazy that day or that it's their fault-they drove me to act that way...

The Lord is kindly refining me. Yes, there have been some long days, but the weeks/months/years have flown by. I want my kids to see our house full of joy. A house that strives to be selfless, putting others first, having fun, dancing, laughing, working hard to love each other.

And yes, I did it, I tried to love my kids well. I put down everything, left the dishwasher half emptied and open, stuff all across the counter and went outside to enjoy the warmer weather and play with Katie while Owen slept. We played tag and I got to treasure Katie laughing and talking up a storm. Then I grabbed dinner from the freezer and popped that into the oven. (Pinwheels-the recipe I will post soon-yumm) Oh and the Lord surprised me...I forgot to get milk today and Melissa watched the kids while I ran to the store...I got some time to think after all. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you Melissa!

So...thank you Lord for YOUR prospective. For your strength to turn my thoughts around and have a great day with my kids. To see fun/life through their eyes. To cook, again, with Katie at her play kitchen. To nurse, again, Owen because he is a growing little one. For grace to treasure these moments that you have given. Thank you Lord that you have seen fit to call me your own. And may our kids see You in us one day soon.